30 Day Writing challenge

I’ve been in need of writing inspiration and I came across a writing challenge on my sister’s Pinterest. Below is the specific challenge for the next 30 days. It’s simple and I’m hoping it will help me develop better writing discipline. Here goes nothing!

Who am I?

I love rainy days, bookstores, grocery shopping, and running. On the enneagram I’m a type 2 wing 3. Type 2 is “The Helper” and type 3 is “The Achiever”. I have a deep need to be needed and a deep want to be successful. My relationships are the most important thing in my life, but my career is second. I have a sort of martyrdom complex, I’m willing to sacrifice my health and wellbeing for others and for my career, and many times in my life, I have.

I’m an ISFJ. I love spending time by myself and delve into deep discussions with small groups. My feelings have often guided my decisions, but I’m learning not to be so impulsive and sit on major decisions, instead of jumping the gun on major life changes. I’m used to have a gut reaction to simply move as the answer to my troubles, and I’m trying to unlearn this lesson.

I love being challenged and I’ve always been a go-getter. I want to be accomplished, but for the past few years I’ve seen physical and professional failures, and I’ve realized that I can still be proud of myself for facing those tough failures (and this is a lesson I’m still struggling with) . I attended UC Berkeley and those college days feel like the most prime years of my life. I met some extraordinary friends (some life-long & some for a season), I ran a marathon, got through a heartbreak, opened up about the abuse I went through growing up, and found strength in myself & in my faith.

I’ve been through a lot of traumas in my life and my physical health feels very broken right now, but I have hope that God will give me healing. I love cooking health(ish) food and watching cooking shows while I eat. I love researching health ideas, but try not to go overboard like I did in the past. I saw my mom battle a very aggressive breast cancer while I was in high school, and it made me almost idolize perfect health & fear illness.

I feel fragile and lost right now and out of place and so damaged, but I spend time outdoors and I feel grateful I fought to live, even when everything was lost, and much is still lost now, but I’m still here and I’m still fighting.

I love public speaking and gave the salutatorian address at my high school graduation (even thought my dad liked my friend’s speech more LOL), it was a great accomplishment for me. I hope I can do more public speaking in the future, maybe with Moth radio.

I love adventures and discovering new places, but I also have a deep longing for familiarity and routine. I cried out of fear when I went to Istanbul with my sister after college (my first big international trip) because it was so new and uncomfortable, but now I look back and relish those memories and moments in Istanbul.

I’m a family girl, but my family hurt me the deepest during my health crisis (with the exception of my youngest sister & mom), and right now I don’t know how to process that heartbreak. But I’m proud that I stuck up for myself and called them out for not caring for me when I was so close to death. I’m trying to forge my own path outside of my family and one day I will forgive them for the hurt.

My little sister Natalie is my favorite person and my inspiration. She understands me most and she saved my life. I owe her everything and I pray that one day we will be healthy and happy again.

I love the outdoors, I’m more of a forrest girl than an ocean girl, but I hope to fall more in love with the ocean while living in Kauai. I’m slowly learning to surf and I hope it’s a hobby that centers me again.

I’m very analytical and math-minded, but I love figuring out inter-personal dynamics & how to persuade people. My last job was working as an inventory analyst for Pottery Barn and it combined all of my passions: retail, excel, and working with people. I thrived there and was on the verge of promotion before my health crisis. I hope I can have this sort of job again, but I’m open to new beginnings and new dreams.

I love being creative, writing, photography, and fashion (or maybe I just love cute clothes). Sometimes I dream of being a writer and living in Paris.

I love sad music and I cry too often and too easily, but I’m learning to let go of the sadness and cling to joy. I do not want sadness to swallow me up again and steal my present happiness. I used to live too much in my past mistakes and I analyzed my decisions night and day, but that drive for perfection almost killed me.

I love roses because my dad planted roses in our first house in the US and would give them to my mom. those rare sweet moments between my parents are etched in my heart. And my mom would give me a beautiful bouquet of roses on my birthdays and it always made me feel so special (and that was a rare feeling in a family of 9).

For better or for worse, that’s me.

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